Goodbye Orange

I never thought that the time will come that I will write this. For the past seven years of my life, I was certain that I won't say goodbye to. But now, the tables have turned. I bid you goodbye. Not because we won't see each other anymore, but because I won't be looking at you the way that I looked at you before.

Seven years. Seven long years. I will not say nor will you ever hear me say that I wasted my precious time on you. Because I admit that I have learned so m,any things in that span of time. And believe me, I learned it the hard way.

I have always dreamt that I would spend the rest of my life with you. That you would miraculously fall in love with me. Haha! Every love song was about you, you were the starring role to every romantic fantasy that I had. It was you. It has always been you.

There are pros and cons of loving you. The perks would be, I was able to preserve myself. If I weren't waiting for you to court me, I would prolly had boyfriends here and there. No matter how many guys tried to, I rejected every single one of them because I only want you for me. Second, I learned to wait. And wait. And wait... However, loving you made the biggest impact in my life. I lost myself in the process. My self-esteem reached its lowest point. Because you constantly ignore me, I thought something was wrong with me. That I am simply not good enough for you and I am not worthy to be loved by anyone. Up to now, my insecurities are eating me inside. I always ask myself what do I lack as a person that you haven't even bothered to look at me. Why can't you love me back?

Question: Did I fall out of love?
Answer: Yes. I got tired of loving someone who can't love me in return. I was always the one giving my love. Maybe it's time that I experience how to be loved...even if it's not from you. And yes, I already love someone else.

Goodbye Orange. Thank you for the 7year-roller coaster ride of my feelings. I truly loved you. But I guess, this is our goodbye. And again, I thank you for letting me feel sad because I can compare how happy I am now with him.