Adamson or FEU-EAC?

April 5, 2012  6:48 AM

Hayy.. I'm back again to where I was before the start of the 2nd semester. Torn between the decision of transferring. AdU have this "online enrollment" thingy and I dared myself to have a peek on it. I really don't have the intention to enroll or anything. Makikichismis lang ako. Titingnan ko lang kung epic fail ba ang first attempt ng AdU sa online enrollment. Pero infairness to them, maganada naman sya. O dahil wala lang akong base of comparison? Which is which?

Anyway, I was shocked when I saw their subject offerings for me. It includes MY MAJOR SUBJECTS. I really can't believe what I am seeing. I just cried. Because of happiness? Plus shock, maybe. Ilang taon pinagkait sakin ng AdU yang major subjects na yan because of that EQE (Engineering Qualifying Examination). But now I have it in my hands. But something else bothered me. No. I sensed deja vu. Nangyari na to e. Before the start of 2nd sem. I had this thinking tuloy, is this your scheme (again) just so that I can stay? Are you guys just giving me false hopes again? And I really can't stop crying. Millions of thoughts are running in my mind. The only escape that I can do was to tweet about it (talk about being a social whore :p) just so I can release my confusion. Sent a message to a few people. Really. I can't take this confusion alone. But i the wee hours of the morning, who is still awake? But I am very lucky blessed to have this one person who replied to me. He's not taking me seriously at first but after a while he's giving out his advice. To be frank, I really don't need anyone's advice. I just want someone who will listen. Someone who won't judge me because failure is again around my corner. And then.... I prayed. I prayed with my heart (and tears+sipon. syempre naiyak ako e. haha!). I prayed until my loneliness was satisfied. Until I told myself it's finally time to seek Your Word as to what I will do. And I was surprised. Now I know the reason why I am days behind on my devotion (I'm using Our Daily Bread). To be exact, I am 8 days late (You know how I am sorry for this Lord☺). God reserved the devotions because He know that I will come crying to Him asking what I should do. And this is what I read:

"God chooses what we go through;

we choose how we go through it."

Labo. I want a concrete answer, Lord! I flipped the next page and then, voila! The title of the devotion? COURAGE TO CONTINUE. Title palang, ayun na yun e! And God said,

"Be strong.... For I am with You"

- Haggai 2:4

Deja vu again! The verse may not be exactly the same but the main point is! I remembered the message in Victory U-Belt last year. It's the same! Look, i even blogged about it. (Never Say Never) God's message for me never changed! I'm just slow on the uptake. Soooooooooooobrang slow. "Be strong and courageous." "Be strong for I am with you." I just didn't want to accept na ayun ang sagot ni Lord. Di ko matanggap na hindi yung gusto ko yung masusunod. Na hindi ako dun sa easiest path dadaan. But just by thinking about these things, I belittled God's Power. And I am very sorry :( I forgot that I have a very powerful God that loves me so much. That I can overcome anything because I have Him by my side. Na if ever na hindi ako pumasa or whatever, I am sure na it's all because of a purpose na kahit hindi ko maitindihan, I just have to simply trust His will for my life. I thank God for His patience with me. Lagi kong pinagdadaanan to and yet, hindi matanim sakin na eto yung sagot Nya. Haha! Lord, I love you. Really. I can't thank You enough. And, also thank You for your child na ginamit mo to put sense in me. You gave him wisdom para makapag-advice sya sakin. (Ayan, mentioned nanaman sya. ikaw naaaaaaa. lagi kang may cameo appearance sa mga post ko. kahit di mo nababasa to. haha!) I thank you :] I owe you one! :]

And for the record, and para masagot na yung tanong sa tilte ng post ko, Adamson or FEU-EAC? I am still an Adamsonian and I enrolled for the Summer Term☺ God bless me! :))