This term brought me to another crossroad of my life. Put me in the brink of giving up (again for the nth time), stressed me to death (well, I'm not literally dead but I wished I was), made me realize that this is not what I want to do for the rest of my life, made me feel how worthless I am, and, made me want to end my life thinking I could start over again.
Mad, eh? I must be having some mental problems right now. I feel like my life is so messed up that I just want to escape everything, everyone. I want everything to end. All my life I've been disappointing everyone. They are always expecting great things from me. But how can I do such things? I have nothing. I am nothing. I don't want to continue disappointing all of you. I am not what you think I am. I can do nothing. I am sorry.
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